10 Jul How Do You Know You Are Ready For Therapy?
Are you considering seeing a therapist for your mental health needs? Maybe you’re going through a difficult time, you’re still processing a difficult event, or you’ve noticed life just seems harder for you than for others. Mental health awareness grows every day and seeking out professional help is becoming more often encouraged. So, how do you know it’s time for you to go to therapy? Even the act of considering whether you should see a therapist is an important step towards being ready. Whether you’re going to therapy for the first or fourth time, these questions may be helpful in deciding if you are ready to start.
Is there room in your life for improvement?
Generally speaking, yes, there is always room in your life for improvement. Having the insight that you would like to change something about your life is a good sign you are moving towards being ready for therapy. You’d be surprised how many people go to therapy because their spouse or family asked them to. When they finally get there, they say “I’m only here because someone else told me to do this.” or, “I don’t have anything I want to work on.” If you are content with your life and don’t want to change anything about your work, relationships or habits, then therapy may not be right for you. Everyone could benefit from therapy; however, it is voluntary and better used when you see a need in your life for it.
Therapy comes in handy when you have life goals and motivation for change, however, there may be something is getting in the way. Therapy can help you discover what is stopping you from living your healthiest, safest and happiest life, whether you’re feeling depressed, anxious, detached, traumatized, addicted, stressed etc. You may be experiencing those emotions based on past experiences and therapy can help make sense of your past, in order to make better choices and movement towards your future. Once you see one area, or a few, as to how your life could get better, it’s a matter of whether you’re willing to do the work.
Are you willing to do the work?
Finally, you’re in the room… You could talk about what is happening to you, but instead, you draw upon one of the many avoidance skills you’ve used to evade sensitive topics thus far. I imagine there may be a wall built around your emotional self that stops you from being vulnerable, honest and reflective. Layered in the wall are bricks built with sarcasm, apathy and dismissive statements. These Defense Mechanisms can help you deflect raw emotions, such as sadness, loneliness, or shame. Those defense mechanisms, however, also keep you from more enriching life experiences, such as love, connectedness and belonging.
It takes a lot of emotional energy to be reflective about the ways you’ve been hurt, as well as being vulnerable enough to say them out loud… Who would willingly do that to themselves? Going to therapy with a desire to change something in your life isn’t enough to actually change it. You will need to do the work. What does the work look like, you ask?
The work, essentially, is healing. Healing from whatever harmful events or relationships have affected you to this day. Metaphorically- therapy may mean finding an emotional wound you thought was sewn shut but actually it has been bleeding all along. Therapy is the process of naming that the wounds haven’t been healed, but that they one day can be.
Are you connected to people or hobbies that can lift you up in the moments between therapy sessions?
So, you’re in the room, you’re doing the work, and you realize the work is hard. Some sessions can leave you feeling empowered, motivated and enlightened. Others may leave you feeling drained, confused or even angry. Leaving a session where you unpack stuff you thought you put away could leave you feeling like you need a nap.
This is where your people and hobbies come in. When you leave a session, the work continues outside the room by slowing applying lessons you’ve learned in therapy. Life gets better when you increase positive interactions with meaningful relationships and participate in healthy activities that will make you feel good in your mind, body and spirits. This won’t happen overnight but seeing a therapist while working on one or two pro-social activities a week can help you achieve that change you want to see. Therapy can give you the bravery to follow things through, like going out with friends, maintaining physical health, getting a new job, or recommitting to your interests. Filling your life with positive people and hobbies will help sustain you through and after therapy is done.
Lastly, have you found a therapist you can work with?
Now who would you like to start this journey with? The work can’t be done unless you are working with a therapist you like. Ideally, you will find someone that makes you feel heard, understood, held and supported. You should be leaving your sessions wanting to come back to work with that therapist again. A large factor in therapeutic success, if not the largest, is the therapeutic relationship. So, if you aren’t keen on your therapist and their treatment style after 2 or 3 sessions, it may get in the way of you being able to do the work you need.
If you have never seen a therapist before, you can research different styles of therapy in order to gauge what you think might be the most helpful to you. Some therapists help you achieve change quickly without going into your past. Other therapists will help you dive deeper into pervasive challenges that may have begun a long time ago. No matter what kind of treatment you are looking for, you will be more successful if you like the therapist that will guide you through the healing process.
If you can reflect on your own mental health needs, whether you or others notice it first, you are already on the right path to bettering yourself, your relationships and your life. With the right therapist, outside support system, and goal you’d like to achieve, you can be ready to do the work that helps you obtain the happiness you deserve.
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